Prominent Liberals have been jumping into the fray about the crisis in the Middle East and the evacuation of Canadians from Lebanon. Here are some select quotes that the MSM forgot to publish:

1. Ken Dryden: “If Israeli and Hezbollah leaders had been raised by professionals in state-run daycare centres, they would not exhibit the type of violent reactions that they do today.”

2. Joe Volpe: “I am pleased that we are patriating all those Lebanese Canadians. They usually have a lot of children who can meaningfully contribute to political campaigns.”

3. Scott Brison: “Israel has the right and the duty to protect its gay community, and the rest of country too.”

4. Bob Rae: “Canada must send the Canadian soldiers who should not be helping people in Afghanistan to help people in Lebanon.”

5. Gerard Kennedy: “Canadian civilian casualties in Lebanon clearly show that Canada is the first international country in the world.”

6. Martha Hall Findlay: “With my legal experience, I can bridge the gap between Israelis and Lebanese.”

7. Stephane Dion: “Our principal concern is that emanations from the many rocket explosions and airplane sorties during the conflict drive us further and further away from the commitment to clean air under the Kyoto Protocol.”

8. Carolyn Bennett: “If they had public healthcare and women like me running Hezbollah, all of this would probably not be happening at all.”

9. Maurizio Bevilacqua: “I urge all parties in the conflict not to panic and to stick by their principles.”

10. Hedy Fry: “I am not realy sure where Lebanon really is, but I am sure that there are crosses burning there as we speak.”

11. Michael Ignatieff: “The little Israeli Jews deserve as much protection from terror as the little Muslims.”

12. Lloyd Axworthy: “Hezbollah’s kidnapping of the two Israeli soldiers rather than confronting the IDF head on shows that Hezbollah understands what soft power means, and they should be given credit for it.”

13. Belinda Stronach: “Lebanon needs to revive its Liberal Party. The Lebanese parliament would work so much better if people voted more and if members elected their cabinet.”

14. Paul Martin: “My ships have all come in, so I can’t send them out to help Canadians in the Eastern Mediterranean.”

15. Jean Chretien: “Ha war is ha war. What kind of war? It’s ha war. Ha war is ha war. If you ‘ave a good war, people are shooting and people are dying, and you know it’s ha war. When you ‘ave ha good war, you know it.”

Update: Thanks to Mike D –for offering good commentary to explain the cryptic references in the parody.